Introduction
Migration is one of the most intense, stressful, and layered experiences in modern life.
While many view it as simply a geographic move, from a psychological perspective, migration can be a “shock to identity” — an experience that shakes and reshapes a person’s inner world.
This article explores migration through the lens of attachment, identity, and trauma, asking:
What does a person truly lose when they leave their homeland, and what are they really searching for?
- Migration as a Break from Attachment Roots
In attachment theory, emotional security is not only built through bonds with important people (like parents), but also through familiar places, language, customs, sounds, and even smells. Migration breaks these familiar, secure connections.
The migrant suddenly finds themselves in a world where nothing feels familiar. Street signs may be unreadable, daily routines are unfamiliar, and a new language limits emotional connection.
This loss of a “safe base” keeps the brain in survival mode, often leading to anxiety, confusion, or depression.
- Identity in Conflict: From “Iranian Me” to “Global Me”?
One of the deepest challenges of migration is the experience of split identity. Migrants often feel caught between two cultures, two languages, two value systems — and sometimes, even two versions of themselves.
This is especially true for educated and sensitive migrants. In their home country, they may have felt ignored or rejected. But in the new country, they may feel like outsiders who don’t fully belong.
The result is a sense of being suspended between two worlds: “I don’t fully want to go back, but I can’t fully call this place home either.”
If this tension isn’t worked through, a person may fall into one of two extremes:
- Either they reject their past completely, leading to cultural disconnection,
- Or they cling too tightly to their ethnic identity, becoming emotionally stuck in the past.
- Grief of Migration: Mourning What Was Left Behind
Every migration involves some form of grief — the grief of leaving behind a place, family, mother tongue, relationships, social roles, or even a sense of purpose.
But unlike the grief after a death, this type of grief is often invisible.
No one around you sees it, and even you may feel you don’t have the right to mourn it.
To survive, many migrants suppress their emotions:
They don’t allow themselves to feel afraid, to cry, or to complain — because they need to find work, learn the language, get a visa, and fit into society.
This emotional suppression can eventually lead to insomnia, physical symptoms, exhaustion, or a loss of meaning.
- Growth After Crisis: Rebuilding a New Self
Migration isn’t only a tragedy. Just as it breaks down an old identity, it can also open space for something new.
In positive psychology, there’s a concept called Post-Traumatic Growth — the idea that some people, after going through crisis, grow in self-awareness, emotional flexibility, meaning-making, and personal strength.
But this growth isn’t automatic. It requires emotional support, grieving what was lost, building new connections, and deep self-reflection.
- Migration and Family Bonds: When Roles Get Reversed
Migration doesn’t just impact individuals — it transforms the entire family system.
In many migrant families, children learn the new language faster than their parents and often take on adult responsibilities, such as translating or helping with social systems.
This role reversal puts significant emotional pressure on children.
Sometimes, this leads to a generation gap:
Parents may struggle to adapt to the new culture, while their children quickly blend in.
This can create a feeling of psychological homelessness for both generations — where no one fully belongs.
Conclusion: Migration Is Not Just a Move — It’s a Transformation
Migration is a complex, deeply human experience. To truly understand it, we need to look beyond external changes (like language, jobs, or housing) and explore its inner layers: grief, attachment, identity, meaning, and belonging.
In the end, a successful migration is not just about adapting to a new country.
It’s about making peace with the past, grieving what was lost, and building new emotional roots.
