“When anxiety isn’t just a feeling—but an internal alarm system.”
Introduction
We all experience anxiety in stressful situations. But when anxiety becomes a constant part of our inner life—even when there’s no real danger—it is no longer just a simple warning.
Instead, it may be a sign of deeper, unresolved emotional patterns rooted in the past, early relationships, or unconscious defenses.
This article explores the kind of anxiety that doesn’t go away—the kind that may have been making decisions, feeling emotions, and breathing for us for years.
- Anxiety Is Not Just a Feeling—It’s an Inner Alarm System
Anxiety plays an important role: it tells us when something inside or around us feels out of balance.
But when this alarm system becomes overactive, the person experiences chronic, anticipatory, and seemingly endless anxiety. There may be no clear cause—yet the feeling never truly disappears.
In many cases, chronic anxiety is the voice of emotions that were never allowed to be felt.
When someone cannot express anger, sadness, or emotional needs, the mind may convert those feelings into anxiety in an attempt to protect them.
- Attachment and the Roots of Anxiety
People who grew up with emotionally unsafe, unstable, or controlling caregivers are often more vulnerable to chronic anxiety.
Why? Because during childhood, they may have received messages like:
- “Your feelings are too much.”
- “Your needs are dangerous.”
- “Don’t be angry.”
- “Don’t cry.”
As a result, emotions that should have been felt and processed in safe relationships were suppressed—and anxiety became their substitute.
- Anxiety as a Defense Against Deeper Feelings
In psychodynamic therapies like ISTDP, anxiety isn’t just a symptom—it’s a signal. It often hides something deeper. For example:
- Intense anxiety might be covering up anger toward a controlling parent,
- Or deep grief that was never allowed to surface,
- Or chronic guilt that silently eats away at the psyche.
Unless these feelings are identified, experienced, and worked through, anxiety will continue to take hold.
- Why Cognitive Tools Aren’t Always Enough
Cognitive strategies usually focus on changing anxious thoughts. These can be helpful—but if the root of anxiety lies in unconscious, buried emotions, cognitive tools may only bring short-term relief.
For instance, if someone constantly fears being abandoned, they might be taught to replace those thoughts with more logical ones.
But if that fear comes from emotional rejection in childhood, healing often requires emotional processing and the safety of a secure therapeutic relationship.
- The Body Speaks the Language of Suppressed Anxiety
Chronic anxiety often shows up in the body as well, through symptoms such as:
- Shortness of breath
- Heart palpitations
- Chest pain
- Stomach tightness or spasms
- Numbness or tingling
The body expresses what the mind has suppressed.
In body-focused psychotherapy, these symptoms are taken seriously and explored alongside emotional work.
- Anxiety Increases in Close Relationships
It may seem strange, but for many people, closeness itself triggers anxiety.
Why? Because in the past, emotional closeness may have meant control, judgment, or abandonment.
Therapists understand that intense anxiety in the presence of a loved one—or even the therapist—can signal that old defenses are loosening and early wounds are being touched.
This is often the point where real healing begins—if the person can stay present and not shut down.
- The Way Out of Anxiety Is Through It
Perhaps the biggest mistake in dealing with anxiety is trying to “silence” it.
But anxiety is actually an invitation—to listen to what has long been hidden.
Deep therapy does not aim to eliminate anxiety by force. Instead, it helps uncover its meaning and origin, and gently welcomes the feelings that were once pushed away.
Conclusion
Chronic anxiety is often not just fear—it’s a buried emotional experience that the psyche was never able to process.
Therapies that address the emotional roots of anxiety don’t just manage the symptoms—they help bring true freedom.
Healing anxiety isn’t about suppressing or controlling it.
It’s about safely and gradually reconnecting with our emotional self—and allowing it to speak
